Swarnavo's bewitching den

Charles Bukowski once said-"Find what you love and let it kill you".And what if I tell you that for some people like me Loneliness is the drug that we love and let us be killed in its psychedelic existential trip.No,here I am not confusing loneliness with solitude,I am precisely speaking of the real monster which lurks in our darkest dreams and yet that is what we get seduced upon when we learn to be sadistic about very basic things.Loneliness and pain had always been like a constant friend to me who never betrays me ever,sometimes I feel that Tagore's 'Ekla cholo re' would have been greatly personified keeping a future me in context-ofcourse leaving the motivational aspects of the song trimmed from it.Okay I get it,the tone of my writing through the blogs are getting darker and gloomier but I cant help it.No this is not for the case that I am dying to get attention for my self serving idiosyncratic greyscale emotions but it is just that I have been extremely lus...

  I have been randomly procrastinating for a while along with a sense of void in terms of existential crisis.A shallow numbness has dawned on me which can neither be termed as sadness or any type of extreme hollow emotion that can be described as the state that I am going through.My subconscious is constantly nagging me to do some work yet my conscious mind is continuously on a rampage to over philosophize life and trying to make a sense of my personality and existence.As per numerology my life path number represents the number 7 and the challenge of 7 in this life continues to be a struggle to balance his introvert dreamy nature of isolation and spirituality to his extrovert nature of random curiosity and meeting new people.Basically the problem arises when the curse of choice dawns over and I suffer from the anxiety of realization whether I am missing out on the other choice or not.This has made me to come to the conclusion that this pursuit of balance rather be it from the per...